


Gathering Winter Fuel

by GretchenSinister



Series: GretchenSinister's 12 Days of Blacksand [10]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: DAY 11 - Fresh Cookies And Warm MilkI bet the old nick will not mind if we take some*Jack is surprised by a lot of things.
Relationships: Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie
Series: GretchenSinister's 12 Days of Blacksand [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662955
Kudos: 11
Collections: Blacksand Short Fics





	Gathering Winter Fuel

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 12/24/2013.

One of the things Jack hadn’t realized would be part of waking up at North’s on the day after Christmas was the way the kitchens were absolutely filled to bursting with cookies of all kinds, most of them homemade. Of course he knew that something had to be done with all the cookies left out for North, but this was something he had never expected.

“So, um…can I?” he had asked one of the yetis bringing in yet more platters of cookies. The yeti had only shrugged and rolled their eyes before embarking on the rather futile task of organizing the food by flavor, or perhaps country of origin. “ _Yes_ ,” Jack said, grabbing a plate and flitting from table to table, piling the dish with sweets and nibbling on a few as he went.

“Man, Tooth and Bunny are really missing out,” he said to himself around a mouthful of cookies. He couldn’t understand why they had left as soon as North returned. Surely the fairies could take care of tooth collecting for another day and Bunny’s plans for Easter could be put off as well. It had been great, being all together and protecting the Workshop while North was away, taking most of his power with him. And yet, Sandy had been the only one to stay the night other than Jack.

Mid-chew, Jack realized he should go find Sandy and invite him to share the cookies. This was nothing to sleep through.

His flight through the kitchen was stopped short, however, by a truly astonishing sight: Pitch Black, stark naked, yawning widely, and rummaging through a fridge for milk.

It seemed rude to attack someone who was entirely in the buff, so instead Jack settled for yelling out, “Pitch! What are you doing here?”

Pitch turned to face him, neither perturbed by Jack’s presence nor, apparently, inclined to clothe himself. “What does it look like?” He pulled a couple mugs from a cupboard and poured milk into them.

“You’re…stealing from North’s kitchen. While naked.” Jack leaned on his staff. “Not to be, um, the one to tell you about evil plans but this doesn’t seem to be that beneficial to you.”

Pitch yawned again and grabbed a large gingerbread cookie from a nearby table. “Look, Frost, I know. North resting up after a long night, only two Guardians in the whole workshop, one of who is a rookie…but the other one is most definitely _not_.” Pitch chuckles and bites off the head of the gingerbread man. “Bleah! Not enough sugar, not enough ginger.” He drops the cookie, but it doesn’t hit the floor—elves run up and catch it, drawing and quartering the gingerbread man. He rummages through the cookies, muttering to himself. “Surely all the nice children couldn’t have parents who insist on splenda and gluten alternatives? What the hell is this? Bananas instead of eggs? At least the elves will eat it. Oh, stars! Carob? It’s bloody _Christmas_.

“Aha! Here we go! Those yetis and their organization…ooooh yes. Real butter, real sugar, real chocolate, and is that…? Yes! Madagascar vanilla. Even I’d be nice if someone was making these for me. Oh god, they’re even soft and chewy,” he says around a full mouth. After swallowing, he turned to Jack again, who had been standing there, speechless. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?”

“You could put some pants on!” Jack blurted.

“Wearing pants on the day after Christmas is a sign that something has gone terribly wrong,” Pitch said, as if it should be obvious.

“What the hell are you getting out of being here?” Jack cried. “You can’t be here to steal cookies.”

“No, but it is an added benefit,” Pitch said, eating more cookies and piling some others onto a plate. “Otherwise how else would I replenish my energy?”

“From doing what?!”

Just then, Sandy floated into the kitchen, slightly less naked but more exposed: Pitch’s robe was wrapped around his shoulders, and just barely touched the floor as he moved over to Pitch, yawning hugely the whole time. When he bumped into Pitch, he opened his eyes just the slightest amount, grinned contentedly, and exchanged with Pitch the kind of kiss that perhaps only beings that have attempted to murder each other can give.

“Excuse me,” Jack said, his voice sounding strangled.

An exclamation mark appeared above Sandy’s head and he pulled back from Pitch and turned to Jack, sand symbols appearing and disappearing with lightning speed.

“He can’t understand you when you talk that fast,” Pitch said, passing Sandy a chocolate chunk cookie and pinching his side. He turned to Jack. “Sandy would like to reassure you that the big bad boogeyman wasn’t doing anything untoward to your dear little being of sweetness and light. And I would like to clarify that what he means by that is that your dear little being of sweetness and light bound and gagged the big bad boogeyman last night and did an astonishingly good job of fucking him senseless.”

More exclamation points appeared above Sandy’s head, and Jack was pretty sure Pitch was deliberately misunderstanding the following symbols as the next thing he said was, “What? No, Sandy, it’s the truth, you were particularly excellent last night—” He was cut off as Sandy shoved another cookie into his mouth.

“S—Sandy?” Jack asked, not sure if there was anything else to his question. What he got in reply was a series of sand symbols that Jack interpreted as explaining that the Workshop was neutral ground from Christmas Eve to Epiphany.

“And so…no, that doesn’t explain anything!”

Sandy shrugged. It had been going on for a while now. Maybe Jack should go.

“Uh…yeah…wait! Does that mean everyone else knows?”

Sandy raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“O-kay.” Jack held his plate of cookies in front of him like a shield. “I’m going to go hang out in the globe room now. And I’m going to make a lot of noise wherever I go.”

Jack thought it was pretty clear now why Bunny and Tooth had left early, but when North walked by Jack’s chair, asking him if he had seen Sandy, and nodding at his answer, and when Tooth returned later on, asking after the other Guardians, _also_ not being troubled by Jack’s answer, he began to wonder just how much neutral ground was being taken advantage of, and exactly how many cookies would be needed to keep up everyone’s strength.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> bowlingforgerbils said: This entire thing was pure joy, but I loved Pitch’s rant about splenda and carob. Brilliant!
> 
> whentheoceanmetsky said: Gretchen I just really love your Jack. Just, poor unfortunate Jack getting caught up in other people’s business because no one has the common decency to pull him into the loop. Poor bab he is so confused.
> 
> tejoxys said: HAHAHAHA I can’t even pick a favorite part, but this line is toward the top: “Wearing pants on the day after Christmas is a sign that something has gone terribly wrong.” Poor Jack.


End file.
